9/11/2001 A day we will never forget

Planes crashing into buildings
in pictures from a disaster film
before our actual eyes
On the small screen filling our homes and offices
with scenes of terror so horrifying
they must be simulated

NO!  they are real!
Unable to comprehend
how anyone willingly could commit
these brutal acts of terror
Yet these images of harsh reality
become etched into our memory
As we watch the destruction
of a way of life

My concern for 3 year old son and my daughter at college
pulls me from the barrage of images on the screen in my office
and back into the reality of our day
He’s too young to know what has happened
yet sensing the anxiety in the air

When he sees me hurry through the door of day care to hold him

As I was holding my cell phone talking to my beautiful daughter.

Focusing on the exploration of his world
with a simple request of "Home"
His small hand placed trustingly in mine
to guide his own way
A little voice of hope for the future

As he nuzzled in my shoulder 

A nation, a world in tears
united in grief and loss
a tragedy so large
the loss so pervasive
the depth of emotions so great
no words can truly convey the mood

The sacrifice of so many lives
from so many countries
as we struggle to make some sense of the senseless
and look to answer the question
"Why?"
Yet many others saved
by acts of kindness from strangers
and in the mission thwarted
by last heroic acts of sacrifice and bravery

The eagle like the mighty phoenix
emerges from the ashes
bruised, but not beaten
stronger than ever
Out of the rubble of destruction
Seeds of hope
Stories of courage
Heroes emerge
our country unites

To learn and to change
so that it never happens again
To keep the memories of the events and the people alive
but to also keep living
If not for ourselves
for our way of life
for our freedom
for our children

Reasons Why Churches Lose Members

1. Poor leadership

When families leave the church, even though I am not the pastor I make it a point to contact them.  Even if it only satisfies their need to still feel love from someone in the church.

I’ve asked them to share their honest feelings.  The most frequent answer is “We just don’t like the way things are running.” What church does not have problems?  But it seems problems grow like a fast-growing bacteria. 

·        Financial discrepancies worried the church members.

·        Morale problems infected the church members.

·        A lack of vision created an internal sickness within the congregation.

·        Members began to place blame for the troubles.

·        The leadership team has disregard for the morale.  Some have even been told, "If you don’t like the way I do things, maybe this is not the place for you.”

2. Different Style

I have watched people exit our church, but I have also seen them visit our church. When one couple visited our church, they confessed, “We just wanted something different.” Translated, that means they wished for a different style.

When church members leave your church, they might travel to another church because they yearn for another style of ministry. They desire a different style of preaching or worship. Consequently, their expectations of a church cause them to seek another one.  It’s time to take a closer look at your own church.

 

3.  Disillusionment

William D. Hendricks talks about a “dark side” to the church. He details numerous stories about people leaving their churches in his book, Exit Interviews. He writes, “Despite glowing reports of surging church attendance, more and more Christians in North America are feeling disillusioned with the church and other formal, institutional expressions of Christianity." (Chicago: Moody Press, 1993, p. 17)

These people remove themselves from the church out of frustration with structure or bureaucracy. I once heard of a man who left a church because it did not give enough to benevolence. He wanted the church to take its end-of-the month reserves and give to the poor. His frustration incited his exit. Disillusionment might cause people to avoid the church for the rest of their lives.  These problems need not to be overlooked.  Each should be addressed.  Please don't let this be on your list of things you are responsible for not doing when you meet your heavenly Father. 

5. Inner Hurts

A close church member invited me to lunch one day. He dropped a load of hurt into my lap. He talked about troubles with his children. He mentioned problems at work. He shocked me when he informed me of his imminent departure from our church. “It’s in the best interest of our family,” he softly spoke. I agonized over his words.  There was no changing his mind.

Self-doubt crept into my mind. What did we do wrong? What could we do to keep this family? What could we change to keep them happy? Why did we fail with this family? These thoughts bounce the heart when church members leave your church.

One year later I received news about the family. The sad news explained the couple’s divorce. I truly believe a deep inner hurt caused this family to leave the church. Rather than seek help in the church, they fled the church. They retreated to ease the surprise of their impending breakup.  I have observed this kind of church exit. A family sometimes leaves to conceal their child’s drug problem or a teenage pregnancy.

A single leaves feeling deserted by the church. Though people try to accept the single, she never feels a part of the church.  Her inner hurt keeps her from accepting herself. Some leave to seek answers to their hurt. Still others take flight to find the acceptance they have missed.  Take another look, why didn’t the church sense and fill this need? 

6. Church Size

Another reason church members may leave your church is the size of the church. Look into your outreach programs.  Are you filling the need of the community?  Remember what is correct for a church in your county seat may not be what reaches your close community. 

 

How to Handle the Departure

The reasons I’ve mentioned for leaving a church are not exhaustive. Neither do I intend to produce simplistic answers. The hard fact of the narrow road of ministry is that people do pack their bags to journey to another church. 

1. Learn From It

When church members leave your church, ministry lessons unfold. When I contact those who make the church exit; by listening, I learn about people. I also learn about myself. Better yet, I learn more about service to God.

A seminary student called his mentor. “I’m ready to quit,” he muttered in tones of despair. “One of our best deacons is leaving the church. He says it’s because of me.” “Son,” the wise mentor replied, “I’ve lost members in every church I’ve pastored. Focus on God’s call. Listen to people and learn from them. Work hard. Love Jesus. Love people. Then remember, you can’t ring everybody’s bell all the time. Trust God and do the best you can in serving the Lord.”

When church members leave your church, learn what you can from it. This is where churches fall short; they tend just to wave it off.

2. Pray For Them

Ultimately, when church members leave your church, concern for their spiritual condition should become primary. Pray that those people can find a church that feeds them spiritually. Ask God to provide healing for their hurts. Request the Lord’s guidance as they wander down uncertain trails. Praying for them nourishes their spiritual life. It also encourages your attitude toward them, especially if they spoke painful words upon their exit.  Still reach out to them showing love not chastisement or gossip.

3. Open the Gate

Leave the gate open. This may sound strange, but when church members leave your church, let them go. Begging them to stay serves little purpose. Always leave the gate open for their return. One of my greatest joys of ministry came because of an open gate. A family left for a new, fresh road to another church. Six months later, they wished to return. “Would it be okay if we came back?” they asked through a mutual friend. “Sure,” I said. The family returned.  It is the Lord’s church, and the best way to handle those who walk to another church is to remember this.  It is not YOUR church, it is GOD’S church.  Eugene Petersen challenges pastors not to become inflated in their self-perception. God works through people. We are to strive to be HIS vessel, not our own vessel for our own gain.  The church moves forward rhythmically like a clock ticking. He writes, “Years ago I noticed, as all pastors must, that when a pastor left a neighboring congregation, the congregational life carried on very well, thank you.” (TheContemplative Pastor, Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans, 1989)

Oh, they miss pastors who depart. But God has a way of supplying new ones.

The key is to remember, it’s the Lord’s church. Churches should focus on this truth. When they do, time heals wounds. Conflict embraces resolution. Anger gives way to joy. Emptiness surrenders to fullness. When the back door opens, God often brings twice the number in the front door. When the church is a revolving door, maybe the key to church growth is to have more coming than you do going.  

Step back and take a long look on what you are offering.  Would a “Secret worshiper” (same as secret shopper, just for churches) write a good reference for your church or even for you?  Would God’s representative, angels in disguise, be pleased when they visited?  Is God Himself pleased with the way the church people handle your church business? 

 

Take a HONEST long soul searching look at yourself and your church.  Are you pleasing God OR yourself?

John 11:35 Jesus Wept

Jesus wept - It has been remarked that this is the shortest verse in the Bible; but it is exceedingly important and tender. It shows the Lord Jesus as a friend, a tender friend, and evinces his character as a man.    And from this we learn:

1. That the tenderest personal friendship is not inconsistent with the most pure religion. Piety binds stronger the tie of friendship, makes tenderer the emotions of love, and seals and sanctifies the affections of friends.

 

2. It is right, it is natural, and it is indispensable for the Christian to sympathize with others in their afflictions. Romans 12:15; "rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." 

 

3. Sorrow at the death of friends is not improper. It is right to weep. It is the expression of nature and religion does not forbid or condemn it. All that religion does in the case is to temper and chasten our grief; to teach us to mourn with submission to God; to weep without complaining, and to seek to banish tears, not by hardening the heart or forgetting the friend, but by bringing the soul, made tender by grief, to receive the sweet influences of religion, and to find calmness and peace in the God of all consolation. 

 

4. We have here an instance of the tenderness of the character of Jesus, The same Savior wept over Jerusalem, and felt deeply for poor dying, sinners. To the same tender and compassionate Savior Christians may now come. Hebrews 4:15; and to him the penitent sinner may also come, knowing that he will not cast him away.

A true best friend is not gender exclusive

Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt. 

2 Girl best friends: They do all the girly things together, no one says anything. 

2 Boy best friends: They do all the boy stuff together, no one says anything.  

1 Boy + 1 Girl best friends: They do boy and girl stuff because they are there for each other.  Some closed minded people don’t understand you can have a platonic relationship.

I’ve tried to instill in all of my children that true best friends aren’t gender exclusive. 

So far so good; all evidence shows the lessons were learned.

Hand Cookies

Several things and events we do for our children when they are growing up --- sadly they don't remember.  It is sad sometimes, but then I remind myself - they are also my memories.

This recipe normally turned out making a mess in the kitchen with the children, but the giggles, faces, comments and out loud laughs were worth the clean up later.

This recipe I used on rainy Saturdays when the children were home and also once a year for girl scouts.

Hand Cookies

Ingredients

Cookies:

• 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 1/3 cups shortening
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon grated orange or lemon zest
• 2 whole eggs
• 2 1/2 teaspoons milk
• 4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Egg Yolk Glaze:

• 4 whole egg yolks
• 2 drops food coloring per egg yolk, various colors

Frosting:

• 4 cups powdered sugar
• 2 sticks butter
• 2 tablespoons heavy cream
• Dash vanilla extract
• Edible decorations, for decorating

Directions

For the cookies: Cream the granulated sugar, shortening, vanilla and orange zest thoroughly. Add the eggs and beat until light and fluffy. Add the milk and mix. Sift the flour, baking powder and salt, and then blend into the sugar mixture.

Divide the dough in half, slightly flatten between two sheets of waxed paper and refrigerate, about 1 hour (or freeze for 20 minutes).

For the egg yolk glaze: While dough is chilling, separate the eggs, reserving the whites and placing each yolk into an individual small bowl. Add 4 teaspoons water and different food coloring to each yolk and combine to make the egg yolk glaze.

Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface. Carefully cut around hands using a dull knife.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Transfer the hand cookies to a lightly greased cookie sheet and paint the cookies (with a soft brush) with the egg yolk glazes.

Bake the cookies, about 6 minutes. Do not allow the cookies to brown.

Transfer the cookies from the oven to a wire rack to cool.

While the cookies are cooling, make the frosting: Simply combine the powdered sugar, butter, heavy cream and vanilla in a food mixer until light and fluffy. If you like you can put the frosting in disposable piping bags to make decorating easier. Decorate the cookies with the frosting and any edible decorations, jewels, disco dust, sanding sugar you like.

©Betty Jean Bowers

Preachers: Stop Preaching Self, And Preach Christ

Preachers: Stop Preaching Self, And Preach Christ

It Is Not The Messenger, It Is The Message

God's Word Has Power, It Needs No Help 

Preachers are those who declare the Gospel. God places a lot of responsibility on Preachers, because they are declaring His Gospel Message. Preachers are to present God's Word (Bible) to the world, so that all can be saved. God said in 2 Peter 3:9 and it reads, "Not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” God's intent is that all be saved, but unfortunately everyone will not be saved, because some will not believe the Gospel or accept Christ as Savior. The reason some will not be saved is due to their own stubbornness or unbelief, AND that some Preachers will be responsible for some who don't come to repentance. Now, why did I say some Preachers will be responsible? This is the reason why, Paul said in Galatians 2:20 and it reads, “I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me, and the life I live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God Who loved me, and gave Himself for me."   Paul was saying that he was with Christ and Christ was in him, in fact, Paul was saying everything about him, reflected Christ. The life he lived was not his own, but Christ's. Some Preachers today fail to show this reflection of Christ, that is why I say some Preachers are responsible for some who don't come to be saved.

Don't get me wrong, there are good Preachers out there, but there are also some who are the complete opposite of the Apostle Paul. These Preachers believe they are “walking wonders “and there are people who actually believe these Preachers are “walking wonders.” These “walking wonders” always carry a proud, self-righteous air and demeanor.  When I say “preaching self ", I mean they are getting the people to focus more on them than on God's Message. When the congregation gets through looking at them, they have forgotten what the message they preached was about. These “walking wonders " have taken the focus off God's Message and have put the focus on themselves.

This is in stark contrast to how the Apostle Paul felt about preaching God's Message.  The Apostle Paul said in Romans 1:15 and it reads, " so, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the Gospel to you that are at Rome also.” Paul did not care, who, what, or where, he said he was ready to preach the Gospel. Praise The Lord!  Paul said in 1 Corinthians 1:17 and it reads, “For God sent me not to baptize, but to preach the Gospel.” Preachers, your reward is supposed to be in heaven. Preachers need to come out of the world and commit themselves to God's Spirit. If God has given the Word to you to preach, then you should feel as Paul, for he said in 1 Corinthians 9:16 and it reads, " For though I preach the Gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me if I preach not the Gospel.” Preaching the Gospel was Paul's gift and calling, and he said he could not stop even if he wanted to. Paul was driven by the desire to do what God wanted, using his gifts for God's Glory. Preachers, let me tell you, being like Paul, preaching and living for God the way he did, now that is a real “Walking Wonder.”

I say to all Preachers today, you all should use Paul as an example. This is, because Paul had an amazingly selfless attitude. Even though Paul knew that some were preaching to build their own reputations (like some preachers today), they were taking advantage of Paul's imprisonment to try to make a name for themselves. But, regardless of the motives of these preachers (which was using Paul's imprisonment to make a name for themselves), Paul did not care about that, what made Paul happy was that the Gospel was being preached. Some Preachers serve for the wrong reasons, God doesn't excuse their motives, but He can still use the Message, because it His Message. The reasons these " walking wonders " think so much of themselves, is that when they preach and the congregation start shouting and praising God, coming to the altar at the same time to be saved, these "walking wonders " think it is because of the humph they put in the Message, they also feel it’s the way they danced in front of the congregation in other words they feel they gave God's Message power.  If a person truly believes, it is from the seed of the Word of God, the messenger has no power.

The Lord said in Isaiah 55:11 and it reads, " So will My Word be which goes forth from My Mouth; It will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, without succeeding in the matter for which I sent It. " Give God The Glory! God's Word need no help from the Preachers, God's Word is living, life-changing, and dynamic as it works in us. With the incisiveness of a surgeon's knife, God's Word reveals who we are, and what we are not. It penetrates the core of our moral and spiritual life. It discerns what is within us, both good and evil. To sum it all up, you Preachers who think of yourself more highly than you ought to, you are not “walking wonders” but God's Word which you should be preaching is the only “WONDER" our Souls are in need of.

Why did God make you a woman?

God created woman with a strength all her own. Unfortunately, most women in our society today have been so busy trying to be men, which they have totally missed out on the inherent power of being ladies.  As Christian women, we can sometimes get caught up in getting things accomplished. When you slow down, it allows God to use His Word to show you who you were really created to be; not only as a woman, but as a Woman of God. 

Why Did God Make You a Woman? 

To Fix a Serious Problem

Now the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.   -Genesis 2:18 

Of course, I am NOT implying that Christian single women have no place in God's plan. All women have a vital purpose.   But to understand our true intent, we must look at where the first thought of women appeared.

It is amazing to think that, in the entire story of creation, this is the only time that God says "It is not good."

 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed and God saw that it was good.-Genesis 1:12

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night and God saw that it was good. -Genesis 1:16-18

Genesis continues on describing the beauty and wonder of God calling all creation into being.  And, as they say, "it was all good!"

But, all of a sudden, there was trouble in paradise!

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a help meet suitable for him.”

Something was not good.

Enter you – Woman, the answer to the problem.

My Oh My.  How things can get lost in translation.

I am not sure if you can relate, but in the past, whenever I have heard the words help meet, I always felt so secondary.  Like God’s afterthought.   "Is that all I am," I wondered, "Someone's help meet? And what in the world is a help meet anyways?"  But, to an all knowing God, there is no such thing as an afterthought.

He knew as He formed Adam with His hands, that He was hiding the beauty and strength of Eve deep inside of Him. And that He would only unveil her after He made a very important point:  a world without woman is a world that is "not good." 

Now, you will have to forgive me. I usually try not to get in to very minute details. But when we are talking about why God created you, I think it is more than necessary to be thorough.

 So, here goes a quick lesson in Hebrew:  God said, "I will make him a (n) ezer" (Genesis 2:18). 

First off, the Hebrew language is very different from English.  

A single word in the English language could represent several different words in the Hebrew language. Each individual Hebrew word would have a more in depth meaning than its English counterpart. 

There are different Hebrew words that we translate as help. 

The Hebrew term "ezer" is actually based on an ancient word "azar." The Strongs Hebrew dictionary translates it as "to surround, i.e. protect or aid:--help, succour." 

I personally had to look up the word succour. It means to be the one who gives assistance in a time of great difficulty.  If we look in the Bible for other instances when we see ezer used instead of other words that mean help, we see something very interesting.  It was usually used by believers who were in grave danger! They needed a special kind of help.  They needed to be surrounded with protection.  They needed the One who gives assistance in a time of great danger.  

They needed an ezer!  

Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers the snare is broken, and we are escaped.

Our help [is] in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth.-Psalm 124:7, 8

 * * * * * *

 Ye that fear the LORD, trust in the LORD:

 He is their help and their shield.-Psalm 115:11

* * * * * *

 And my personal favorite:

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. -Psalms 121:1 & 2

After looking at those scriptures, and many others using the word, I personally think that the usual translation of ezer as "help meet" does not quite capture the true meaning of the word.

What do you think?  

God has called you so much more than just a helper. Just like Eve, God created you because there was a serious problem. And, He uniquely designed you to fix it.  This world needs the gifts that God has stored on the inside of you.  Make no mistake. When God gave the commission to subdue the Earth, Eve was not excluded from the mandate! 

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion..."-Genesis 1:28

You are important to God, and you are important to the world. You have a strength and beauty all your own. Ask God to reveal it to you so that you can become the Ezer you were destined to be since the creation of the world.

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Prior to my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s disease, she was the epitome of the title of this blog.  When I was growing up, she was a task master and you knew to do what she said, but you did it with respect.  There were five grandchildren of which I was the oldest; we knew we were loved.  Prior to the devil of Alzheimer’s, she was an avid worker in the church.  She taught Sunday School, directed Vacation Bible School, and was President of the Baptist WMU.  This she did because of her love for God and NOT to attain public notice of herself.  She has been with Jesus for several years now.

Even though I may not always live it, her example still rings in my heart and mind.

When you meet someone on the street now, do they ask you how you are or how your day is OR do they say something like “Is something wrong, you sure do look tired?”  Before you ask this question, are you really ready to take the time to hear the answer?  Another example I have overheard recently is “She sure looks good for her age” referring to a teacher at school. 

Having grown up with parents who didn’t compliment at all, they only found the wrong in anyone; I guess this is more noticeable to me.  I have strived to be more like my grandmother.

This comment was even brought out in the Disney movie Bambi.  (http://youtu.be/nGt9jAkWie4)

I could type my own incidences of “friends” attempt a compliment, but there is an insult imbedded; but I ‘m not making this blog a personal vendetta.  I am sure you have your own life experiences you are remembering as you are reading this blog.

BE CAREFUL of what you say.  THINK before opening your mouth.  DO NOT down someone else to try to raise yourself.  The last example is a pure statement of low self-esteem of anyone who attempts to put themselves first. 

“Don’t look down on someone unless you are extending your hand to help them get up.”

Isn’t this what we try to teach our children?  Respect AND Self Respect. 

Remember children learn by EXAMPLE. 

I have heard the comment, “Well we know where they heard that” referring to a child that was using words or a statement that they weren’t old enough to know the meaning or implication.

This is just a plain reminder, think of your words before you say them.  Repeat them back in your mind, would YOU want to hear them said to you?  

Are you building up your friend or family member OR are you chiseling away at them?

 

 ©Betty Jean Bowers

Prayer instead of gossip

When one of your friends asks for prayer, they are trusting the verses listed below from Matthew.
Please do pray for them and not use their prayer requests as fodder for your gossip mill. Prayer instead of speculation. Do you pray for your "friends" as much as you gossip about them? Also - remember the verse Luke 6:31 instructing us to Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (In other words: To have a friend, you must first be a friend)

Matthew 7:
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The above is a comment I posted on FB yesterday.  A dear friend had posted for prayer because the police had just published a missing person for her adult grandson.  I then found out through the obvious rumor mill that the "gossip" and speculation had begun like a wild fire in her hometown five miles from my own home.  Those who know me KNOW which little town I'm referring to. 

All she asked was PRAYER - not GOSSIP. 
(that is also how I replied to the phone calls followed by my hanging up)

My message here is BE CAREFUL how you treat someone's prayer request.  They are asking for intercession with God.

What would YOU want said if this happened to one of your family?
 

Chicken Fried Steak

Chicken fried steak is one of my favorite dishes served with mashed potatoes and gravy. Someone asked me for the recipe recently and I was totally surprised.  I guess I thought everyone knew how to make this great dish. There is not a lot to it and you can use cube steak, beef chuck steak, boneless sirloin, or round steak. My personal choice is cubed steak.  Steaks should be about 1/4 inch thick. You can tenderize by pounding with a meat tenderizer tool.

·       4 to 6 cubed steaks

·       2 cups all-purpose flour

·       1 teaspoon salt

·       1 teaspoon black pepper

·       1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (Optional)

·       Pinch cayenne (Optional)

·       2 eggs

·       1/4 to 1/2 cup cooking oil (I use Crisco Veg. oil)

·       1 1/2 cups milk

In a flat dish or pan (I use a pie pan) combine flour, salt, black pepper, garlic powder and cayenne. Whisk together.

Break the 2 eggs into a separate bowl.

Dip steaks in egg and then flour mixture. (If you like you can do this step twice.).  Make sure they are well coated with flour.

In a skillet on top of the stove heat oil to sizzling.(When you put a drop of water in oil it sizzles).

Add steaks to hot oil being very careful since oil is so hot. Cook 4 to 6 minutes on each side until golden brown.

Remove steaks to a plate and cover to keep warm.

Pour hot oil from skillet until you have only about 4 tablespoons remaining along with the browned crumbs in the pan.

Add 3 to 4 tablespoons of the leftover flour to the drippings and stir to mix well. Add 2 cups milk and cook to boiling.

Remove when gravy gets to desired thickness.

Pour gravy over cooked steaks and serve. (or serve on the side so you can help yourself.

©Betty Jean Bowers

Andrew F. Bowers - a husband, companion, best friend and a true Dad

Andrew F. Bowers

Mr. Andrew F. "Andy" Bowers, 57, of Grantville, died Saturday, March 17, 2001, at Atlanta Medical Center.

Mr. Bowers was born June 28, 1943 in Moreland to the late James and Inez Houston Bowers. A lifelong resident of Coweta County, he was a member of the First United Methodist Church of Grantville and worked at the William L. Bonnell Company in Newnan. He was preceded in death by a son, Andrew Mark Bowers, and a sister, Barbara Jean Eison.

A funeral will be held today, Monday, March 19, 2001, at 2 p.m. at the First United Methodist Church of Grantville. The Rev. Darris Baker will officiate, and burial will be in Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Newnan. Serving as pallbearers will be Charles Young, Charles Blount, Jeff Gaddy, Lawson Boyd, Terry Futral, and Jackie Robertson.

Surviving are his wife, Betty Jean Bowers of Grantville; 10 children and two daughters-in-law, Andrew Christopher Bowers and Cristina Leigh Lassetter, of Grantville, Gabriel and Angela Bowers of Tyrone, J.R. and Amy Bowers of Quincy, Ind., and Angie Hammond, Glenn Bowers, Annette Bowers, Nicole Bowers, Alinda Bowers, and Christian Bowers of Snellville; sister Mary Jane Thompson and her husband Elwood; and 11 grandchildren, Serina Robertson of Newnan; Danielle Bowers and Ethan Bowers of Quincy, Ind., Kayla Bowers and Erica Ashley Bowers of Tyrone, and Aaron Hammond, Kyle Hammond, Jessica Bowers, Patrick Bowers, Saraya Haynes, and Trinity Bowers, all of the Snellville.

The Claude A. McKibben and Sons Funeral Home, Hogansville.

Andy was a man nobody can replace, at least not in my heart. We were together for 17 years. I will not claim we had a perfect marriage but as people say… Andy and I were perfect for each other and we were! With our union, we shared 9 beautiful children and God allowed us to give life to one additional son.  Andy was a disciplinarian with a heart. He was strict but not stiff and he loved our children so much. Our children loved him tremendously because Andy never feared showing his emotions towards them, towards me or to just about anyone he loved. He was indeed affectionate and was a man of few words. 

I still remember one conversation I had with him. We were talking about our children. About how we wanted to see all of them grow up. He had lots of dreams for them. Andy was a proud father. He was the type of father who would flaunt his children to his friends and his friends loved our children too of course. Andy dreamt big. He wanted our children to grow up wise, God fearing, respectful and successful people. I am proud to say, Andy achieved that. We brought up ten wonderful children. How lucky are we? I know Andy will flaunt our children with everyone in heaven. In fact, I am sure of that.

Andy lived his life the best way he could. He never had enemies nor did he step on anyone. Andy was well loved and respected.  How could he not be? He was such a kind soul. The type of person you can’t get enough of. Well, at least I think of him that way. I married him, didn’t I? If I could live all over again and would go back to the time when Andy asked me to marry him, even for a million times all over I would still say yes! Marrying him was the best decision I ever made in my life and I would not change that even if I have the chance to do so.  That’s how much I loved my husband; that’s how much I will keep on loving him.

He was also a volunteer with UMCOR (United Methodiest Committee on Relief).  He said he wasn't a carpenter, but he could cook.  He would travel with the other volunteers to the sites and cook for the families touched by the tragedy and the volunteers.

Andy is in heaven now. He’s with his parents, sister, his son Mark and other friends who have gone on.  I’m sure he is happy there because in heaven there is peace. Andy had no unfinished business here and he was ready when God took him to be with Him in His kingdom. We, as his family, weren’t prepared when that day came, but he was at peace with our God. We all were able to say our goodbyes and somehow, letting him go was not so painful knowing that he was at peace and there would be no more bodily pain. 

Andy, I know we will see each other again. I would feel your warm embrace again and our souls will unite for an eternity together in heaven. In the meantime, please do guide us as we live our life here on earth. Do watch over our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  Protect them from harm. Andy, you will always be remembered and you will always live in our hearts.  I love you so much.