“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Prior to my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s disease, she was the epitome of the title of this blog.  When I was growing up, she was a task master and you knew to do what she said, but you did it with respect.  There were five grandchildren of which I was the oldest; we knew we were loved.  Prior to the devil of Alzheimer’s, she was an avid worker in the church.  She taught Sunday School, directed Vacation Bible School, and was President of the Baptist WMU.  This she did because of her love for God and NOT to attain public notice of herself.  She has been with Jesus for several years now.

Even though I may not always live it, her example still rings in my heart and mind.

When you meet someone on the street now, do they ask you how you are or how your day is OR do they say something like “Is something wrong, you sure do look tired?”  Before you ask this question, are you really ready to take the time to hear the answer?  Another example I have overheard recently is “She sure looks good for her age” referring to a teacher at school. 

Having grown up with parents who didn’t compliment at all, they only found the wrong in anyone; I guess this is more noticeable to me.  I have strived to be more like my grandmother.

This comment was even brought out in the Disney movie Bambi.  (http://youtu.be/nGt9jAkWie4)

I could type my own incidences of “friends” attempt a compliment, but there is an insult imbedded; but I ‘m not making this blog a personal vendetta.  I am sure you have your own life experiences you are remembering as you are reading this blog.

BE CAREFUL of what you say.  THINK before opening your mouth.  DO NOT down someone else to try to raise yourself.  The last example is a pure statement of low self-esteem of anyone who attempts to put themselves first. 

“Don’t look down on someone unless you are extending your hand to help them get up.”

Isn’t this what we try to teach our children?  Respect AND Self Respect. 

Remember children learn by EXAMPLE. 

I have heard the comment, “Well we know where they heard that” referring to a child that was using words or a statement that they weren’t old enough to know the meaning or implication.

This is just a plain reminder, think of your words before you say them.  Repeat them back in your mind, would YOU want to hear them said to you?  

Are you building up your friend or family member OR are you chiseling away at them?

 

 ©Betty Jean Bowers